Crush... But Not Crush..!
I was thinking for a long time about my next blog (other than the TFA series). Got a couple of topics, but was too lazy to pen them down. And then I came across two posts in the snippets forum about Crushes. My memory took me back to my school and college days. Oh wow, what a feeling that was, to get just one glance of your crush. The first time your heart starts fluttering and you realize you are not a child any more, but a girl. Those memories I cherish a lot.
But no, I am not going to disclose my crushes in this open forum. May be some other time. But I want to share something that happened in college, something for which I cried then, but now it sounds so silly and funny.
I used to go by bus to college and there was this girl, let us call her Priya, from some other department and was very close to me. Initial days were very nice, always laughing and giggling for silly matters. And then, one fine day she announced she had a crush on one of our seniors, let us call him Bhaskar. Oh God, then started my ear-bleeding-sessions. The entire 45 minutes travel to and from college, I had to listen to her never ending silly encounters with Bhaskar, which goes something like "I went to drink water ah, he also came at the same time to drink water ah, I saw him through the corner of my eyes ah, and he was staring at me de". Oh boy, other than a cooler and a dirty vessel, there was nothing else nearby to stare at. He was most probably waiting for her to finish drinking :bonk
Anyways, this continued for a semester. Many times Priya showed him to me like "Hey, the blue color shirt walking" and when I saw there, there were around 50 various shades of blue color shirts walking. But thanks to her persistence, I did find him. And as far as she had described, I did not find him interesting. Anyways, Priya found him interesting, isn't that enough? And basically, the face recognition s/w installed in me is very poor. I need to see a person at a close proximity minimum thrice to remember them. This guy Bhaskar's image did not even get stored in my volatile memory.
Then one day his class moved to a building next to us. Now I was given a new job by my pain-in-the-a** friend. Whenever I go out, I was supposed to check if he was sight-adichufying any other girl. Sometimes girls can be a lot meaner than boys. I wanted to scream "Don't I have a better job?", but all I said was "Oh sure dear"
So, I did check on him, and as far as I noted he did sight-adichufy. I mean, which guy wouldn't in an estrogen filled environment. But I did not want to disappoint her. So I just said "He sees girls, but not that much". Priya was somewhat convinced with my comment. She did not ask me anything further, may be she was scared of the result. But what happened thereafter was something both of us never expected.
One day, I was waiting in my bus to leave. Priya had not come, she was on leave. So I was day dreaming about my secret crush. Suddenly a voice called me
"Hey, can I talk with you for a while?"
I was perplexed at the guy standing outside the bus. My internal processor generated an instant alarm because in my college girls and guys were not supposed to speak. There was even a note in our college diary saying "Boys and girls are not supposed to talk or even exchange study material" in bold. I started a separate thread in my mind to search my database to find where I know this guy from. Meanwhile I just nodded him to continue.
"Why do you keep staring at me all the time?"
My database thread just then came up with the result that this guy was Bhaskar. But I had gone to 'not responding' mode for a while. Then I managed to say
"No, I never looked at you"
"Oh! So, why do you consider me your brother?"
Now my processor was totally shut down. This was someone I had seen just a couple of times and never spoken to. I was so wild with anger that I just retorted
"I don't consider you my brother"
I said that without the slightest idea of what inner meaning it could carry. He just smiled and asked
"So...anything else you want to ask me?"
I wanted him to just leave the place, as I could feel prying eyes (my bus mates) over me. I just shook my head. He smiled and waved me a bye and left.
I had no idea what had happened. I went home and the first thing I did was to call Priya. Our conversation was like this
"Hey Priya, do you know what happened today?"
"I know Ice. But I never expected this from you"
"What do you mean?"
"I heard you kept staring at Bhaskar"
"What the f**k? Don't you know I like ----"
"Ah! Then why does he think like that? He asked my friend about you, that you keep staring at him in college"
"What did your friend say?"
"She asked me, so I said may be you were seeing him like a brother"
At this point, I need to tell you friends, I thought what Priya said was totally stupid. I mean, how can a girl see a guy as a brother?
Priya continued in a disgusted voice,
"And you refused it saying you never considered him your brother. He now thinks you have a crush on him. I thought you were my friend"
I was totally dumbstruck for a while. I tried convincing Priya that I was innocent. But all what I said proved useless and she never spoke to me thereafter. And with that ended our friendship as well as our so called love triangle.
Later when I sat with my friends and discussed what could have gone wrong, they came up with 2 possible reasons for the misunderstanding. 1. He might have seen me checking on him (that was just once or twice) 2. I would have tried to steal a glance of my crush and this guy might have been in the line of sight :crazy
Whatever the reason was, from the next day, I had to endure a series of his name calling every time I crossed his class.
First few days I cried for having lost a good friend, but later my friends consoled me saying if Priya was a true friend, she would have never doubted me. Poor she, she went mad every time his friends teased me with him.
After this incident, there had been few instances when my friends had asked me to check on their crushes. But am I a fool to repeat the same mistake twice? :rant
So, do you have any such memories to share?
But no, I am not going to disclose my crushes in this open forum. May be some other time. But I want to share something that happened in college, something for which I cried then, but now it sounds so silly and funny.
I used to go by bus to college and there was this girl, let us call her Priya, from some other department and was very close to me. Initial days were very nice, always laughing and giggling for silly matters. And then, one fine day she announced she had a crush on one of our seniors, let us call him Bhaskar. Oh God, then started my ear-bleeding-sessions. The entire 45 minutes travel to and from college, I had to listen to her never ending silly encounters with Bhaskar, which goes something like "I went to drink water ah, he also came at the same time to drink water ah, I saw him through the corner of my eyes ah, and he was staring at me de". Oh boy, other than a cooler and a dirty vessel, there was nothing else nearby to stare at. He was most probably waiting for her to finish drinking :bonk
Anyways, this continued for a semester. Many times Priya showed him to me like "Hey, the blue color shirt walking" and when I saw there, there were around 50 various shades of blue color shirts walking. But thanks to her persistence, I did find him. And as far as she had described, I did not find him interesting. Anyways, Priya found him interesting, isn't that enough? And basically, the face recognition s/w installed in me is very poor. I need to see a person at a close proximity minimum thrice to remember them. This guy Bhaskar's image did not even get stored in my volatile memory.
Then one day his class moved to a building next to us. Now I was given a new job by my pain-in-the-a** friend. Whenever I go out, I was supposed to check if he was sight-adichufying any other girl. Sometimes girls can be a lot meaner than boys. I wanted to scream "Don't I have a better job?", but all I said was "Oh sure dear"
So, I did check on him, and as far as I noted he did sight-adichufy. I mean, which guy wouldn't in an estrogen filled environment. But I did not want to disappoint her. So I just said "He sees girls, but not that much". Priya was somewhat convinced with my comment. She did not ask me anything further, may be she was scared of the result. But what happened thereafter was something both of us never expected.
One day, I was waiting in my bus to leave. Priya had not come, she was on leave. So I was day dreaming about my secret crush. Suddenly a voice called me
"Hey, can I talk with you for a while?"
I was perplexed at the guy standing outside the bus. My internal processor generated an instant alarm because in my college girls and guys were not supposed to speak. There was even a note in our college diary saying "Boys and girls are not supposed to talk or even exchange study material" in bold. I started a separate thread in my mind to search my database to find where I know this guy from. Meanwhile I just nodded him to continue.
"Why do you keep staring at me all the time?"
My database thread just then came up with the result that this guy was Bhaskar. But I had gone to 'not responding' mode for a while. Then I managed to say
"No, I never looked at you"
"Oh! So, why do you consider me your brother?"
Now my processor was totally shut down. This was someone I had seen just a couple of times and never spoken to. I was so wild with anger that I just retorted
"I don't consider you my brother"
I said that without the slightest idea of what inner meaning it could carry. He just smiled and asked
"So...anything else you want to ask me?"
I wanted him to just leave the place, as I could feel prying eyes (my bus mates) over me. I just shook my head. He smiled and waved me a bye and left.
I had no idea what had happened. I went home and the first thing I did was to call Priya. Our conversation was like this
"Hey Priya, do you know what happened today?"
"I know Ice. But I never expected this from you"
"What do you mean?"
"I heard you kept staring at Bhaskar"
"What the f**k? Don't you know I like ----"
"Ah! Then why does he think like that? He asked my friend about you, that you keep staring at him in college"
"What did your friend say?"
"She asked me, so I said may be you were seeing him like a brother"
At this point, I need to tell you friends, I thought what Priya said was totally stupid. I mean, how can a girl see a guy as a brother?
Priya continued in a disgusted voice,
"And you refused it saying you never considered him your brother. He now thinks you have a crush on him. I thought you were my friend"
I was totally dumbstruck for a while. I tried convincing Priya that I was innocent. But all what I said proved useless and she never spoke to me thereafter. And with that ended our friendship as well as our so called love triangle.
Later when I sat with my friends and discussed what could have gone wrong, they came up with 2 possible reasons for the misunderstanding. 1. He might have seen me checking on him (that was just once or twice) 2. I would have tried to steal a glance of my crush and this guy might have been in the line of sight :crazy
Whatever the reason was, from the next day, I had to endure a series of his name calling every time I crossed his class.
First few days I cried for having lost a good friend, but later my friends consoled me saying if Priya was a true friend, she would have never doubted me. Poor she, she went mad every time his friends teased me with him.
After this incident, there had been few instances when my friends had asked me to check on their crushes. But am I a fool to repeat the same mistake twice? :rant
So, do you have any such memories to share?
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